Unlike many of my fishing comrades, money wasn't my primary motivator for going to Alaska. I went to escape. Spending my post highschool-graduation Summer among foul-talking scum was much preferable to spending my Summer at home. So I signed on to pile web on a fine vessel out of Tacoma and quickly learned just how painful jellyfish can be.

After making my first year's crewshare check into a paper hat, I got on a different boat the following season and managed to weasel my way into the skiff. There I learned the joys of never having to come in contact with sea life and I fine appreciation for screaming diesel engines.

To their credit my parents were very supportive. Secretly I think they hoped it would make a man out of me. I really was a weiner and deserved all the abuse I took when I couldn't choke out a bolin knot at three in the morning. In addition to the usual array of filthy insults one would expect to be called by men who think a John Holmes documentary is fine art, I was actually called "A Puppet" for not helping a former linebacker pull in the bow. This most definitely toughened me up. Now when I pile gear, I pile it "like a man, not like a pussy."

Fortunately all I have to pile now is food in front of my face. I am one of the lucky many who escaped from the denile of seining. Following the money led to the Internet and now I work at Amazon.com, Earth's most well marketed bookstore. As is evidenced by the quality of these pages, my job has nothing to do with either HTML or writing, instead I am a programmer.

Please direct all your abuse and hatemail to me at tim@humpy.org. I love getting email from angry fishermen who feel I'm way off base. Before you write, ask yourself one question, "Do I or would I eat canned salmon?" If the answer is yes, then you are in a minority. No one with taste buds will eat canned salmon when fresh farmed is availble at a moderate price in the farthest corners of the world. And no I won't debate the fact that wild salmon is much tastier than farmed, but after it is canned, any salmon tastes like Cat Chow.

If you're not an angry fisherman, drop me an email anyway. Bitter crewmembers are especially encouraged to write.